You're One in Twenty, Kid

For more than the past three years, I've been authoring or co-authoring a Sunday column called The Weekly Shuffle at Poker Tips. I'd say about 60% of these Weekly Shuffles have been pretty good, 35% have been "meh", and 5% of them have been hilarious/great. Thanks to our industry knowledge and a recent trip to Israel that proved to be very educational, I think we came up with one this week that I'd put in the hilarious/great column:

Five Steps to Destroying an Online Poker Room

"No... No..."

I was probably the last person in the poker world to see this video because I'm sheltered like that, but in case there's anyone else out there with their head deeper in the sand than myself, check out the largest pot in televised poker history that came in at $900k. The best part is at about the 4:45 mark when 22 year old sensation Tom Dwan immediately says, "no... no..." in response to Barry Greenstein's offer to each pull a couple hundred thousand out of the pot before flipping. And with that, the "Tom Dwan is a badass" fan club has reached a new high in membership.

Devout Jew: Alex Perelberg

This should make for some exciting TV.

The Foxwoods Poker Classic drew a paltry 257 players. This was already going to be a very boring TV episode when Amnon Filippi was the most interesting player remaining in the event with seven left. But if that wasn't bad enough, two players were eliminated on the same hand of the final table bubble, meaning the traditional WPT televised final table of six players will be just five players instead.

Oh wait, just kidding, there will only be four players.

Alex Perelberg, the short-stack at the final table, will not be participating in the final table because of family obligations related to Passover.

What. The. Hell?

There are, obviously, a few questions one could raise over this scenario. For one, why on Earth would Perelberg play in this tournament if he knew he wouldn't be able to attend the final table because of Passover? Two, and perhaps a better question, are you kidding me is this guy really going to miss a WPT final table because of fucking Passover?!?! I am at a loss for words. What makes this even more noteworthy is that, in America, Passover is not a one-and-done holiday. Most families have Seders (the traditional Passover meal) on two nights. Certainly his family could see why his absence at the first Seder is understandable. Even if he could have squeaked his way into 4th place, that's an extra $32,000. Let's just ignore the outside chance he has at winning the whole tournament, which would mean another $625,000 on top of the money he has resigned to accepting for fifth place.

How much money is Alex Perelberg paying to attend his family gathering on the first night of Passover? Let's do some basic math.

Here are the final table chip counts:

Vadim Trincher 2,813,000
Amnon Filippi 1,852,000
Matthew Casterella 1,808,000
Lenny Cortellino 1,175,000
Alex Perelberg 202,000

Here are the payouts:

1 $731,079 ($625,000 difference)
2 $409,405 ($303,000 difference)
3 $214,449 ($108,000 difference)
4 $138,905 ($32,000 difference)
5 $106,007

I will grant Perelberg that he is very short-stacked and in all likelihood will just finish fifth whether or not he attends anyway. So let's say that, if he were to play the final table, there is a full 80% chance he will finish fifth.

A 11% chance he gets 4th.
A 5% chance he gets 3rd.
A 3% chance he finishes 2nd.
And a 1% chance he wins the whole thing.

I think those are very reasonable/conservative estimates. Tell me if you think you disagree, but bear in mind that he has 2.5% of the chips in play.

.11(32,000) + .05(108,000) + .03(303,000) + .01(625,000) = Alex Perelberg is paying $23,990 to attend his family's Passover dinner!

Now, I'm not Jewish so perhaps the significance of Passover is lost on me to a degree, but I can tell you that there is nothing family- or religion-related that would get me to miss an event in which I have $23,990 in value short of a death in my immediate family. Then again, keep in mind this is coming from someone who skipped his sister's college graduation to accept an invitation to go on the Party Poker Million cruise (and subsequently finished 3rd for $160,000 right in Grandma's face).

This story is just unbelievable and I think serves as a symbolic nail in the coffin of the days when the WPT was interesting (for any redeemable trait, that is).

Tel Aviv

I'm enjoying Tel Aviv a lot for a few reasons. In no particular order:



Size of City

I don't really like small areas for the simple reason that it's too easy to get bored. On the contrast, I'm not too wild about large cities either. There's something about the hustle-bustle and magnitude of large, urban areas that overwhelms me. I don't like going to a place for several nights and still feeling like I have no grasp on the size and scope of the city. Houston sits alright with me because it's not endlessly urban; rather, the city is more a bunch of neighborhoods and suburbs that just have no clear delineations between one another. But even after living there for three years (this month), there are still parts of the city I've never been to and some I'm sure I haven't even heard of.

What I like about Tel Aviv is that it fits in that perfect zone between small and large. To be sure, it's a very large city, but it doesn't seem so large that you couldn't know your way around after just a couple of months.

Girls

The women here are really good looking. I'd guess there are a couple primary reasons for this. First of all, military service is required for all Israelis around the age of 18. That obviously helps promote fitness. However, I'd say what's more important is the diet of the region. This is more of a eat to live, not live to eat culture. There's less wealth per capita here which helps discourage a lifestyle of excess. Additionally, since the weather is so good, people are able to stay active outdoors for most of the year.



Food

The food here has been surprisingly great. Most food in Europe sucks in my opinion. I know that's counter to what most people like to claim, but most people are idiots. The food in Israel is actually pretty solid. The produce is very fresh and most foods are prepared with olive oil. A strong emphasis on spices and seasonings in most entrees make for very flavorful dining.

Misanthropic Inhabitants

People in Tel Aviv keep to themselves. I've hardly noticed anyone who could be classified as loud or obnoxious. They go about their routines and find little need for exhausting chatter. Perhaps this is rooted in some sort of innate distrust for others. After all, many people here are the descendants of Holocaust survivors living in a nation where every neighboring country wants to wipe them off the map. However, this isn't to say that they aren't courteous, which they are.



Climate

At least right now, the weather here is simply fantastic. Aside from a couple brutal summer months (which I'll take any day over a frigid winter), the climate here is great.

Safe Region

Before arriving, my friend Ira told me he felt safer in Tel Aviv than he does in the U.S. I figured that was just his Jewish-bias trying to stick up for an area with a reputation for being dangerous, but he wasn't exaggerating. I feel completely safe here. Even wandering around the streets at night, which is something I would never do in most parts of Europe (thanks to some unsavory experiences in Amsterdam), it doesn't even cross my mind to feel unsafe. The only particularly dangerous parts of Israel are the West Bank and Gaza, both of which are a very safe distance away from Tel Aviv.

I've noticed that in places where all of the people have an easier time feeling like one big family, the area is just a lot safer. Another example of this is Copenhagen. Both there and in Tel Aviv, there are a fairly small amount of people who share their own language and currency that is foreign to the rest of the world. It's like being in a small community where no one would think to bring harm upon one another because they have an easier time adopting a "we're in this together" mentality. Not surprisingly, the people of both areas have chosen a strongly socialist form of government.



Developing Region

To me, there's something that energizes me about areas that are less developed than the U.S. Maybe it's all of the opportunities for growth and adding efficiencies that fosters a certain level of excitement. Tel Aviv is very refreshing in this regard. It's a nice reminder that not all the world is spoiled by a sense of entitlement and destined to stagnation.

It has me thinking that my friends Sam and Justin, who each left the U.S. for South Korea and Thailand, respectively, might be on to something. I would love an excuse to spend a couple months out of the year here. It's possible, though not too likely, that such an excuse could materialize out of a new business relationship that brought us to this lovely city in the first place.


Sunset view from our hotel.

The Holy City

I went down to the concierge desk at our hotel in Tel Aviv this morning at 7 am to ask about their guided tours of Jerusalem. He informed that one was leaving in thirty minutes. I woke Michael up with that news and was relieved when he sighed and said, "alright, let's do it..."

Our tour guide was this hilarious Israeli dude named Eilon:



Eilon really added to the overall enjoyment of the tour. He was energetic, knowledgeable, and generally did a good job of anticipating everyone's needs (we were in a group with six other people, four Canadians who work for Air Canada and were on a three-day stay over and two guys from Hong Kong). When the day was over, Michael and I each gave Eilon a 100 shekel tip as a small way of showing our gratitude.

The four Canadians had purchased a package for a tour of both Bethlehem and Jerusalem. The Chinese guys and Michael and I only purchased the Jerusalem package. In our case, this was mostly because we were unaware there was a Bethlehem option, but being that it rests in the West Bank, we were fine with letting the Canadians enjoy that part amongst themselves.

Eilon dropped the four of us off on the outskirts of Jerusalem at Yad Vashem, the foremost Holocaust Museum in the world, before taking the Canadians to Bethlehem for two hours.

What to say about Yad Vashem? It's a thoroughly impressive museum. A lot of people and a lot of money have gone towards preserving the history of the Holocaust and memorializing its victims in this museum. At times, it was pretty easy to feel overcome with emotion.

The lesson I took from Yad Vashem is that humanity's worse doesn't materialize overnight. It's a process. There is a saying I like a lot that goes, "if you put a frog in boiling water, it jumps out immediately. If you put it in room temperature water and set it to a boil, the frog will stay in the water until its death." The world was the latter such frog in the Holocaust. It didn't start with Hitler coming to power and promptly declaring that he wishes to exterminate all Jews. It started slowly: first requiring Jewish property owners to register themselves, then for all Jews to identify themselves, then for them to be relocated to ghettos, then for them to be hauled off to work camps... it was a very slippery slope in which the better nature of many people was lulled to sleep in the face of an injustice.


The Chinese guys leaving Yad Vashem. No photography was allowed inside the museum.

Eilon returned to pick us up and we made our way to the Mount of Olives. It is here where Christ made several journeys between Bethany and Jerusalem and also where he is said to have ascended into heaven.

From the vantage point of the Mount of Olives, the entire Old City can be seen. For about an hour, Eilon pointed out several historic sites and routes from religious history dating back 5,000 years while we were occasionally interrupted by a Palestinian guy practicing his drifting in a run down Kia some 50 feet behind us.



The view of the Temple Mount from the Mount of Olives. The land inside the walls where the Dome of the Rock is seen is probably the most highly coveted area of land on Earth. Jews believe it is the site where God created the world in its current form. Muslims believe it is the site where the prophet Muhammad ascended into heaven. In the 9 o'clock direction from the Golden Dome is a grey colored dome. That is the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the site of Christ's crucifixion and burial. He was nailed to the cross 200 meters to the right of the Golden Dome (in this picture) and was forced to carry the cross through the streets to the site of his death.


Me looking like a tourist.


Eilon explaining the history of the area.


The building towards the bottom-right of the picture with the multitude of small grey domes rests over the land where it is believed Judas betrayed Jesus. The Temple Mount is just out of site to the upper-left.


At the base of the Temple wall is what appears to be a bunch of rubble. Those are actually grave sites. It is said that when Jesus returns to Earth, he will go through the gates and into the Temple. However, Jewish law states that no person of priestly origin (of which Jesus is) can enter a graveyard. For this reason, Muslims have buried people all around entrances to the Temple in hopes of preventing Jesus from being able to enter.

We left the Mount of Olives and made our way to the Temple's Western Wall (perhaps better known as the Wailing Wall). The Western Wall marks the spot that is as close as Jews can get to the Temple since it is under Muslim control. It is a hugely significant site, quite probably the most significant site in all of Judaism. Eilon said that a crummy apartment in Jerusalem with a view of the Wall goes for multi-millions.


Entering the area of the Western Wall.


The Wailing Wall with the Dome of the Rock barely visible above.

I spent probably five minutes at the Wall. No cameras were allowed within about 100 feet. The Wall is packed with notes and prayers placed by people from all over the world. I was actually a little uncomfortable, or at the very least felt awkward while at the Wall. The gap between what it means to me and what it meant to the pilgrims three feet away made me keep my social awareness dial on it's maximum setting. I wanted to see the Wall and touch the Wall but not for a second if it came at the expense of offending anyone or seeming out of place. I spent a few moments touching it and appreciating the history behind it before removing myself.


Michael and I at the Wall.


The holiness of the Wall was probably lost on this cat.


Several Hasidic Jews praying and talking at the Wall.


Michael explaining why the Wall is overrated.


From the Wall, we made our way through a crowded Muslim corridor with several merchants selling trinkets.

We stopped at a great place for lunch. I had a shawarma sandwich and a falafel sandwich both of which were quite tasty. The food here seems to be really good if you stick close to the vest. The only poor meal I've had was when I took a gamble and ordered a steak. Bad decision.

After lunch, we made our way to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (meaning "tomb of Christ").


At the entrance to the Church. The ladder outside the window above and a little to the left of my head has been there since at least 1850.


Crosses rest against a wall of the Church.


Stairway leading up to the site of Christ's crucifixion.


A mural depicting Jesus on the cross which also marks the spot of where one of the prisoners who died alongside Christ was crucified.


The site of the crucifixion of Christ.


A tablet that commemorates where Christ was placed after being removed from the cross to be cleaned for burial.


Outside of the tomb of Christ.


The entrance to the site commemorating the tomb of Christ.


After leaving the Church, Eilon lightened things up by dragging Michael into a Muslim barber shop and having the guy threaten to shave his head. To me, this picture captures a fact I did not realize before today: relations between Muslims and Jews in this region aren't as hostile as the nightly news might have you think. While the governments may be hostile towards one another, the average people from each group co-exist just fine on an individual level for the most part.


A broad view of the Western Wall as we made our way back to the tour van.


Eilon leading us towards the outside of the Old City walls.

I got the chance to call my Mom from the Mount of Olives and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre which I could tell meant a lot to her. I did not speak with my Dad while he was at work, but I texted him from the site of Christ's crucifixion. I think they're enjoying living vicariously through me on this trip and I hope they can make a visit themselves at some point in the future, perhaps even with my company.

Israel is a very beautiful country rich in history. I plan on squeezing as much juice out of the fruit as possible in my remaining five days here.

"Evacuate the Hotel Immediately"

This Israel trip has not been without stress so far.

A little while ago at 2 pm, Michael and I were awoken to a PA announcement in our room that kept repeating the phrase, "all guests and staff need to evacuate the hotel immediately." When you're in a country where terrorist attacks are not infrequent, that message served as about the most effective alarm clock I've had in my life.

Thirty seconds later, we were clothed and out the door. The hotel is basically a giant atrium. While rushing towards the elevators, I looked down and noticed not the slightest sense of urgency from anyone who was loitering in the lobby. Once we made our way down there, it was clear that there was no imminent threat to the hotel.

"What was up with that evacuation announcement?" I asked one of the staff. "Oh it's just a drill, we do it every three months." Lovely.

Though to be fair, it's probably good that it happened. There's no telling how long we would have slept. Despite going to sleep at midnight, we were both so horribly sleep deprived that it wouldn't have been absurd to think that we might have slept until 6 pm or so, thereby really screwing over our sleep schedule for this trip.

Last night, we watched the Israeli National soccer team play Greece at a sports bar with a few people we know. Israel kept it interesting for most of the game until letting Greece pull ahead 2-1 on a penalty kick somewhere around the 70 minute mark.

As for today, we're just going to take it easy and do some light shopping and exploring around Tel Aviv. Hopefully by tomorrow we're fully recovered from the travels enough to enjoy a day trip to Jerusalem.

Long Journey to Israel

Gotta run, so this will be kinda short:

Woke up at 7:30 am in Houston yesterday and flew to NYC to catch a flight to Tel Aviv where I'm staying for a week for business purposes. Long story short: our flight got to Tel Aviv six hours later than it was supposed to. This was thanks to three reasons: 1.) the plane was two hours late getting to the gate on departure, 2.) after we boarded, someone decided they didn't want to go after all, so baggage claim had to unload all the bags to find that person's bag, 3.) once we got over the Mediterranean, one of the passengers started having a heart attack which forced us to make an emergency landing in Athens. That detour only got us to the ground 20 minutes faster than it would have if we had just continued on to Tel Aviv, but I guess 20 minutes is an eternity when it comes to responding to a heart attack.

Two nights ago I only slept for four hours. Last night (on the plane) I didn't sleep at all. So I'm completely exhausted and the obvious thing to do would be to go to sleep.

BUT... a friend of Michael's cousin (both of whom are also in Israel, incidentally) just pointed out that the Israeli national soccer team kicks off against Greece in a World Cup qualifying match in an hour. So I sprinkled some money on Israel +355 (to render myself as much a fan as the locals) and now we're heading out to a sports bar to watch the game.

Pictures later mb.