Perfection

Tonight, in the second of the three games in our weekly bowling league, I bowled a 300, the first of my life! I can't remember ever having such a strong rush of adreneline at any point in my life before seeing the pins explode on that 12th strike. I'm going to go get drunk now.

(Oh, PS: The first and third games, 162 and 152... OOOPS!!!) :)

WooHoo! It's Here!

I haven't been this excited to receive a package since I was a little kid waiting on Grandma's yearly birthday shipment. Foreheads, beware. I give you, the "Owned" stamp:

Killing My Inner Fatass

Yesterday evening around 7:00, my roommate, our girlfriends, and I went to Outback Steakhouse. I had a tasty 11 oz. sirloin with garlic mashed potatoes. Tack on a Caesar salad and plenty of their delicious appetizer bread and I left the restaurant stuffed.

Later in the night around 11:30, although still largely full, I decided a late-night run to Jack in the Box sounded like a great idea. A sirloin steak 'n' cheddar ciabatta with a medium order of curly fries later, I was disgustingly full.

Eating way more than my body asks of me has been a fairly common trend for most of my post-adolescent life. I am by no means overweight thanks to a fairly regular exercise regimen. Still, it bothers me that I'd probably look like a typical Houstonian fatass in about six months if I stopped working out but continued to eat as much as I do.

In an effort to "eat to live" rather than "live to eat", I've decided to arrange a negative reinforcement scheme designed to cut down on my late night eating. The rules are: after 10:00 pm, I will permit myself to consume nothing but matzo and protein shakes (made with water). Each time I cave in and defer from this practice, I will donate $50 to Concerned Women for America, a fundamentalist group of pro-life, pro-family, homophobic bigots whose mission is to "protect and promote Biblical values among all citizens - first through prayer, then education, and finally by influencing our society - thereby reversing the decline in moral values in our nation."

I can already feel the pounds shedding off!

A Huge Day

I had a great Sunday at the online poker tables. Things started off really well; I felt very focused and was building some huge stacks. In the Sunday Warm-Up, I had KK lose to AK all-in preflop for a stack that would have made me 6th/90. That was frustrating. I got down to 19 players in a $75 6-Max tournament on Full Tilt, but had top two pair get knocked off to a flush draw for the 2nd largest stack in the tournament. That was frustrating. I made a final table in a $20 rebuy on Full Tilt but had A7 lose to 64 all-in preflop to bust out in 7th. That was frustrating.

Vindication came via the Bodog $100k. For the second time in seven weeks, I finished 2nd (this time, out of 810) to win $14,000. Later in the night, I finished 4th (out of 688) in the Bodog $40k to win another $2,700.

I cashed in 6 out of the 11 tournaments I played, made three final tables, and won $16,076, the most I've won in a single day. Days like this are the reason you sit down to play in the first place. It came at a perfect time too: one week before Michael and I head back for a 10-night stay in Vegas. Needless to say, I'm very grateful for the luck I enjoyed today.

Go Ray!!

My good friend Ray Coburn made it to day two of the $2,000 pot-limit hold'em WSOP event, just the second lifetime WSOP event he's played. The event is down to 45 players. He's on a bit of a shortstack, but he's wicked good, so I'd say he's probably even money to take down the $270,000. I won't accept bets on him with those odds either... obv too +EV for you bitches. Do it, man!!



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Update: Ray made final table. He's the shortstack though and only has about 8 big blinds. I was thinking about flying out there early tomorrow morning to watch, but he's probably only worth about $40k right now, so I can't justify the $700 plane ticket (let alone the abandonment of EV in the online Sunday tournaments). Nonetheless, good luck to Ray. With an early double-up, he'd be in good shape to take this down. DO IT!

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Results: I was able to watch Ray at the final table with WSOP Live. For those of you who care a lot about tournament poker, WSOP Live is well worth the $50. Anyway, Ray played fine, but busted out in 8th after his 44 couldn't hold up against AK preflop (with a dead ace folded). He got $23,000 for 8th, a fine showing. Nice job, kid!

The Power of Nightmares

I just finished watching Adam Curtis' "The Power of Nightmares", a 2004 documentary that originally aired on BBC covering the effect Islamic radicals and neo-conservatives have had on the world over the past 30 years. You can watch the film here on Google Video. It's three parts, one hour each, but goes by quickly.

The film paints a clear picture of the fantasy thought processes that American's current administration has embraced as their ideology, an ideology that was successful in rallying the American people behind their dream of invading Iraq. At the risk of sounding too political, I'll stop now and close by saying: watch that documentary.

Live from the WSOP

I will be in Vegas from now until June 19th, and again from July 1st through July 11th. During that time, all blogging will be posted at PokerTips.org's "Live from the WSOP" section, which you can read here. I'm "Ozone" for those of you who don't already know that.

The 100x Trick

Las Vegas is my favorite city in the world. When I’m older, it’s possible I will no longer have that opinion, but as a young, single action-junkie with a little bit of money and few responsibilities, there is no greater place on Earth than Las Vegas, Nevada.

What’s not to like about it? There’s no other city in the world where you can walk down the busiest street at two o’clock in the afternoon with a cocktail in your hand, $5,000 in your pocket, and not at all be considered “abnormal”. I love almost everything about Las Vegas. I love not being able to walk more than 20 feet off of the plane without hearing the sounds of slot machines. I love the casinos and their painstaking efforts to optimize their entire outfit to maximize revenue generation. I love listening to the emotionally-rooted gambling fallacies of their patrons while trying to garner sympathy over a gamble gone bad. I love that no woman can get a job serving drinks at the ritzier properties if she doesn’t look like something pulled out of a modeling agency. I love that the illegals on the street passing out flyers for prostitutes have mastered the art of getting as close as possible to another human without actually touching them. But most of all, I love the 100x trick.

Nestled just south of the daunting architectural masterpiece that is the Venetian is a small, easy-to-miss establishment named Casino Royale. Anyone who has never been to Vegas might reasonably estimate that the Casino Royale is probably a large, sexy resort. The exact opposite is the case. Quite the oxymoron, Casino Royale is an absolute dump by Strip standards, barely large enough to be noticed by a passerby. However, inside this tiny property is a gem of an offering (which was introduced to me by Michael J. Cohen in the summer of 2006).

The craps table is possibly the only spot in any casino with an even-odds proposition. The proposition is simple. After betting on the pass line (which has a house-edge of 1.41%), players may take a free odds bet after the point has been established. To be specific, if the point is established on 4 or 10, the payout from betting on the odds is 2:1 (there are twice as many ways to roll a 7 than a 4 or 10, thus the 2:1 payout). If the point is established on 5 or 9, the payout is 3:2. When the point is on 6 or 8, the payout is 6:5. Since the house has no edge on the odds bet, and only an edge on the pass line bet, they usually limit the size of your odds bet at about 5x your pass line bet. If this is confusing, think of it this way: the idea of an even-odds bet will make people willing to bet large sums. To prevent them from betting $1 on the (house-edge) pass line and $500 on the (no house-edge) odds, casinos cap your odds bet at 5x your pass line bet. This has the effect of making Joe Highroller bet at least, say, $20 on the pass line if he wants to put $100 on the odds.

Let’s get back to why the Casino Royale is so amazing. Almost every casino in the world caps your odds bet at the craps table at 5x your pass line bet. Occasionally a place will be cool enough to allow you to bet 10x, or maybe even 20x your pass line bet. The Casino Royale allows you to bet 100x your pass line bet, the only place in the world with such an offering.



This means, at the Casino Royale, if you were to bet $3 on the pass line (their minimum - giving the house about $.04 per play), and then throw $300 on the odds, at a rate of twenty plays per hour (fairly standard for a craps table), you would be giving up a paltry $.84 to the house while logging a volume of over $6,000 in wagering. Let that sink in. You can gamble over $6,000 an hour while giving up a smaller amount to the casino than Grandma on the penny slots 10 feet away.

What makes this such a beautiful offering is that people are way too stupid to realize that what you’re doing is damn near free. All they see is a guy betting hundreds of dollars at the craps table, laughing, ordering cocktails for the table, and basically looking like the biggest badass to ever walk in a dump like the Royale. The only requirement you need is enough capital to handle the swings at the table.

Casino Royale caps the action at $2,500, meaning you can’t exploit their 100x odds any higher than betting $25 on the pass line. Michael has sustained $20,000+ swings in one night while exploiting this scheme. Obviously we’ve used this trick to pick up women, and have actually enjoyed some limited success. The most expensive part of the night for us is tipping the cocktail waitresses, but drinking wasn’t meant to be free anyway.

The value-oriented reader may be asking, “but, you can’t actually make money at this, so what’s so great about it?” I’ll tell you what’s so great about it: it’s about the most fun you can possibly have for the price!

The Asshole Hat Proposition

I was talking with my friend David Irish of Henderson, Nevada today when there was a mentioning of an "Asshole Hat" being worn in play at a poker table. Curious, but unsure of exactly what he was talking about, I prodded Dave for more information about this hat. He informed me that the "Asshole Hat" is an empty Bud Light box worn as a hat, with the word "Asshole" written on one of the flaps. Here is a picture of Dave modeling the hat:



Now, Dave has been one of my good friends for about five years. If there's one thing I've learned about him in that time, it's that his dignity can be bought, usually for a fairly low price too. Realizing this, I got the idea to proposition Dave into wearing the Asshole Hat while playing in the 2007 WSOP Main Event (of which he plans on participating).

I offered Dave $200 for 1% of his WSOP action if he wears the Asshole Hat during the tournament. My roommate Michael said he would give Dave $1,000 for 7.5% of his WSOP action under the following terms:

* Dave must wear an empty Bud Light box on his head, like a hat, with the term "Toolbox" written on one of the flaps. We figured Harrah's would most certainly not allow him to wear the hat if it says "Asshole".

* Dave must wear the Hat for the entire duration he is in the tournament, unless forced to remove the Hat by Harrah's management.

* If Harrah's forces Dave to remove the Hat on day one of the tournament, the purchasers will have their stake increased in Dave's action to a 1:1 ratio. For example, if he is forced to remove the hat on day one, Michael's 7.5% becomes 10% and my 1% becomes 2%.

* If Harrah's forces Dave to remove the Hat on day two, or anytime thereafter, Dave is in the clear and the original terms of the proposition remain in tact.

* Dave must wear the Hat willingly, and in good faith. He cannot, in any way, provoke Harrah's management into making him remove the Hat. By and large, he will conduct himself in a manner as if he is not wearing the Hat at all.

Why am I making this into a blog post, you ask? Other than the fact that it's hilarious, Dave has stated that he will only wear the Hat if he gets $2,000 worth of action from it. Michael and I have already pledged a combined $1,200, meaning that Dave needs another $800 worth of pledges in order for him to wear the Hat during the WSOP Main Event.

I can vouch for Dave insofar that he is an honest person who will give you what you paid for in this proposition. To those of you interested in buying Dave's pride at the WSOP, reply in a comment to this entry or contact Dave directly at tuba1026 at yahoo dot com.

Ambidextrous I Am Not

Michael (my roomate), Jennifer (his girlfriend), Lisa (my girlfriend), and I went bowling tonight. I'm waiting on a new bowling ball to arrive, and in the interim, I've been trying to learn how to bowl left-armed with my current ball. I bowled a complete game with my left arm tonight and tallied a 32. Drinking half a dozen beers beforehand didn't help improve my score, but regardless, I'm pretty pathetic with my left arm. I'm considering getting a light ball (like, a 13 or 14 pounder, versus a 15 or 16 since my left arm isn't as strong) drilled to fit my left hand. I would estimate that after a year of occasional practice, I could bowl 130 with my left arm fairly easily. I realize this is totally arbitrary, but I think I would derive some satisfaction knowing I could do something well with my left hand.

It's about 2:30 am Central right now. I'm going to get some sleep and wake up in time for the 11:45 am Sunday Warm-Up. I will probably play a large helping of online tournaments tomorrow. This is the last Sunday before Michael and I head to Las Vegas. In harmony with last week, I'll update this post and share my Sunday results once the day is over. Hopefully I can log a nice win to rally my confidence (let alone, bankroll) before heading to Vegas Thursday night.

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Results:

I didn't play too many tournies today due to some fund shortages in my Stars and Full Tilt accounts. I sent a $5k cashier's cheque to Stars a couple weeks ago, but apparently they haven't gotten it yet. Damn criminals.

Anyway, I washed out of everything I played except the last tournament of the night, a $109 Bodog event with 114 entrants. With 20 players left, I was the chipleader and eyeing the $3,600 first-place payout. From there, I lost about half my stack when I called an all-in with JJ. An ace came on the flop and I had to watch a sizable pot shipped to my opponent and his A9. After that, I was chipped down to 10-12 bbs with 10 players left. While I was in the big blind, it folded to the small blind who moved all-in. At this point, he had just slightly fewer chips than I did. This was the third orbit out of the last four where he made this move against me, so I figured his range to make this play was pretty huge. I called off most of my stack with K3 and was crippled down to one big blind when I couldn't get there against his K8. Two hands later, 10th place and an insulting $144 was mine!

For the day, I was down a little less than $1,000. If you could see a line graph of my bankroll since the N'awlins WSOP Circuit Event, it'd resemble that of a speculative dot-com company circa 2000. This hemorrhage will likely prevent my extensive participation in this year's WSOP. I still hope to play the $2,000 no-limit event this Friday, but if I wash out of that, I'll probably skip the other WSOP events in favor of the smaller buy-in stuff at the Venetian and Caesars Palace. Also, my friend David Irish of Henderson, Nevada claims the side game action is super-juicy right now, so there seems to be plenty of stuff to play aside from the WSOP. Yea, that's it! Who would want to play WSOP events with multi-million dollar prize pools and television exposure when there's $300 tournaments and small stakes no-limit cash games going on instead?!? Not this guy!

Good Luck, Shaniac

An online acquaintance of mine, Shane "Shaniac" Schleger, is at the final table of WSOP Event #8 $1,000 no-limit hold'em w/ rebuys. Historically, this event has been good to him. Last year, he finished 17th, his only WSOP cash for the year. The year before that, he finished 5th, again, his only WSOP cash of the year.

Anyway, good luck to Shane. I speak with him sporadically online, but have only met him once in person. Regardless, in all of my encounters with him, he has been nothing short of humble and genuine, qualities most of us come short of exuding.

Harrah's Is Ran By Pussies

Richard "Quiet Lion" Brodie, the original author of Microsoft Word and now a Vegas gambler, has been barred from all Harrah's property (and thus, the WSOP) for winning at video poker. Yes, you read correctly, Harrah's banned him from their properties for winning (in the short-term) at a game with an unbeatable (long-term) house edge. Read it straight from the horse's, or in this case, the lion's mouth here.

It's unbelievable that the operators of one of the largest casino outfits in the world is banning high-volume players from games they have the edge on. People are such pussies.

Sundays Are Fun

So it's possible I'll play more multi-table tournaments today than I have in any single day before. Here's a schedule of the tournaments I plan on playing, all times Central:

11:45 am: Sunday Warm-Up ($215)
Noon: Bodog $50k ($109)
1:00 pm: UB $11k ($109)
1:15 pm: Stars $22 [1 Rebuy + 1 Add-On]
1:15 pm: Stars $10k ($3 Rebuy)
2:00 pm: Stars $11 Heads-Up Matches (PokerTips.org Private)
3:00 pm: Bodog $100k ($109)
3:30 pm: Sunday Million ($215)
4:00 pm: UB $200k ($215)
4:00 pm: Stars $55 [3k Chips]
5:00 pm: FT $400k ($216)
5:00 pm: Stars WSOP Qualifier ($650)
5:30 pm: Second Chance ($215)
6:00 pm: Stars $109 [3k Chips]
6:05 pm: FT Mulligan ($216)
7:00 pm: Stars $18k ($27.50)
7:30 pm: FT $14k ($30 Rebuy)
7:30 pm: Bodog $50k ($55)
8:00 pm: Stars $20 Rebuy
9:00 pm: Stars $55k ($10 Rebuy)
10:00 pm: Bodog $12k ($109)
10:00 pm: FT $30k 6-Max ($109)
11:00 pm: Stars $77 [3k Chips - 6 Max]
11:15 pm: Bodog $11k ($55)
11:15 pm: Stars $55 [1 Rebuy + 1 Add-On]
Midnight: Stars $20k ($109)

Number of Tournaments: 26
Total Buy-in: $3,413.50

Once the day is over I'll edit this entry and share the results. I really don't want to be playing more than six tables at once, so if I'm doing well in some of the bigger, important tournaments, I'll probably skip some of the obscure ones I listed.

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So I wound up not playing any of the stuff I mentioned past 8:00 pm. I was down quite a bit on the day, a little burnt out, and probably not playing well enough to justify entering more stuff. All told, I played 18 tournaments and cashed in two of them. I went fairly deep in the Sunday Warm-Up, but had KK run into AA to send me out around 100th. I also went deepish in the Bodog $50k, but couldn't get anything going and busted out in 33rd.

For the day, I was down a not-so-sexy $1,816. Last Sunday I was down $2,800. Current projection for next week: up like $421,000, obv!

May Numbers, June Outlook

Poker was good to me in May. I ended the month up $19,361. Most of that came from two scores, 2nd in the Bodog $100k for $14,300 and 18th in the N'awlins WSOP Circuit Event (in on a $500 satellite, read more about that here) for $13,337.

I got off to a quick start on PokerStars for the month, 5th in a $100 freeze for about $2,000 on May 1st, but ultimately was down a couple thousand on Stars for the month, despite making the final table twice in their nightly $50 + one rebuy + one add-on. Stars is a pretty tough place to play. I'm pretty sure I'm a lifetime loser in their MTTs (though I'd be very surprised if my expectation there is that of a losing player - variance in MTTs is a bastard).

My Full Tilt results were pretty bad too. Granted, I only played 11 tournaments there in May, but I had just one cash and was down around $1,500. I know I just said it, but I should emphasize it again; the variance in multi-table tournaments is outrageous. I have to remind myself of this so I don't get too get excited after winning $20,000 in one month. For all I know I could be a loser in MTTs and just happened to run well in May.

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This month, Michael (my roommate, and the owner of PokerTips.org) and I are going to Vegas from June 15th-June 20th. Assuming I don't tank too horribly in online tournaments before then, I'll probably play the $2,000 WSOP Event on June 15th, and maybe the $1,500 event on June 16th, as well as maybe the $2,500 six-handed event on June 19th. There are definitely better tournaments for me in Vegas than the WSOP Events. For example, the Venetian's Deep Stack Extravaganza, as well as the daily tournaments at Caesars Palace both have great structure and more bankroll-sensible buy-ins. I hope to play at least one Venetian tournament, most specifically the $1,000 Sunday event on June 17th.

Alright, that's enough rambling about poker. Thanks for reading.