Great News!

They actually commuted his sentence!

Maybe the crazy rednecks running this state have a heart afterall!

(CoughCough, now for another issue, why is he serving a life sentence just for an armed robbery spree?!?)

Kenneth Foster Update

This CourtTVnews.com article is the best I've read on the situation yet. As of now, no murmers that suggest Foster's sentence might be commuted are coming up through Google News.

Texas Set To Execute Kenneth Foster

The death penalty is one of those loveless travesties of our civilization that I generally avoid thinking about. It's like playing Madden on the Pro setting. Yes, I know I'm going to win 99% of the games and that if I want a real challenge I should play on All-Pro, but I'd just assume live in a bubble of bliss where everything functions smoothly.

On Thursday, an African-American man named Kenneth Foster is scheduled to be executed by the State of Texas. Kenneth and another man, Mauriceo Brown, were convicted of the 1996 murder of Michael Lahood.

In that incident, Kenneth was driving a car containing three of his friends. He pulled the car near a home where Mr. Brown, and Mr. Brown only, exited the car, got into a confrontation on the front lawn with a man and his girlfriend, pulled a gun, shot, and killed the man. This was not a premeditated murder, but rather, a crime of passion. All the while, Kenneth was sitting in the car.

Texas is a bad state to be a criminal who is both black and poor. No one knows this as well as Kenneth Foster. For the murder of Mr. Lahood, the gunman, Mr. Brown, and Kenneth Foster, were tried in the same case. Both were convicted of the same crime, murder, and both were given the same punishment, execution. Last year, Mr. Brown was executed by the State of Texas. Prosecutors argued that Kenneth either intended to or "should have anticipated" murder. For that lack of foresight, Kenneth will be executed on Thursday.

Allowing Texas the right to capital punishment is like giving a bunch of middle schoolers alcohol. They're not responsible enough to play such a high-stakes game. If you let them, travesties are inevitable.

Links about this:
Dallas News Opinion Article
Amnesty International: Foster Execution a Shocking Perversion of the Law
Protestors Gather In Austin

If you'd like, you may e-mail Texas Governor Rick Perry here:

www.governor.state.tx.us/contact

Or call his opinion hotline here:

1-800-252-9600

Attending An Infomercial Scam Seminar

Last night, Michael saw an infomercial for Better Trades, a con-group that hosts seminars all over the country where they hardsell you into paying $3k for a 2-day seminar where you'll learn all the secrets of how to be a successful options trader. (Note: at the 2-day seminar, it is alleged that they again try to convert you via hardsale into buying a bunch of crap stock software for $6,000).

Anyway, Michael learned of a free seminar in Houston and figured it'd be fun to go listen to their pitch and fuck with them a little. I could write a 1,000-word entry on how sad the experience was, but I’ll keep it brief. A group of roughly 75 hopeful, but gullible Houstonians gathered at an Omni Hotel to listen to the sales pitch from the paid actor Better Trades hired to scam people over. It was pretty depressing to see how willing people were to fall for the bait. The combination of sucking at acquiring money but really wanting a lot of money truly brings out the sorriest in humanity.

When the 2-hour sales pitch was over, Michael and I each approached separate representatives (whose goal was to convert us into coughing up $3k for the 2-day seminar) and played dumb for a while. Albeit mostly founded in a desire to act like jackasses, I actually left with a bit of a warm feeling knowing that, by hogging a representative with questions for 15 minutes, he was unable to coax an unsuspecting attendee into falling for the scam. After listening to the rep’s pitch for a while, I quit with the charade and our conversation ended as such:

Him: So are you ready to sign up for the 2-day program?
Me: Well, no. This is clearly a scam. If your stock advice is so amazing, why are you wasting time talking to me when you should clearly be hoarding it to yourself?
Him: Oh, but you don't understand! I'm a student just like you! My goal is to eventually become as smart as Better Trade's multi-million dollar founder who created this program.
Me: Why would he create this program if he can make millions following the advice himself?
Him: Because he's a generous person. He's like Warren Buffett - someone who also likes to help the novice trader.
Me: No, Warren Buffett is a generous person who donated $30 billion to charity. The founder of Better Trades is a scam-artist, and so are you.
Him: Well if that's how you feel, you should probably leave.
Me: Don't worry pal, I'm going.

That dialogue can't come close to topping Michael's 13-minute encounter with a female representative. Click here for the full audio file of him pretending to be a semi-retarded guy who just inherited $500,000 and wants to make enough money in the stock market to purchase an experimental penis enlargement operation.

Worry, Worry, Worry!

Portfolio down in the midst of the credit crunch? Painfully cutting corners to save money for that new car? Stressing out over that big work project? Feeling anxious in your quest to spread religious views to unbelievers? Great news: none of that fucking matters! (Especially the silly notion that "fuck" is a "bad" word).

Single image containing literally thousands of galaxies taken by the Hubble Telescope. The patch of sky in which this image was directed has a diameter 1/10th of that of the moon as viewed from Earth's surface. Feeling tiny yet? Click here for ultra large resolution.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

I'm not sure how entertaining these blogs are, but I'll err on the side of optimistic and assume they're readable.

Here are the tournaments I plan on playing today. I'll edit this post later with the results:

PokerStars Sunday Warm-Up
Full Tilt $75 6-Max
Bodog $40k ($109)
PokerStars $11 [10-Minute] $100k (What a fun tournament)
PokerStars $11 Rebuy
Sunday Million
Bodog $100k (Final table again?)
Ultimate Bet $200k
FTOPS Main Event $535 (One time final table?!?!)
Absolute Poker $70k (I guarantee a cash)
Bodog $40k ($55)

Alright, here's hopin' for a big score.

---------------------

Well, I wound up washing out of every single one of those tournaments. I've been on a vicious downswing lately. It's ironic; losing spawns a lack of confidence, which spawns more losing. Thankfully I feel like I played well today.

I don't much like blogs with incessant hand histories, so I opt to avoid posting them as much as possible. This one I cannot help but share. The villan in this hand was a loose, passive, very bad player whose stack I had been eyeing for quite a while. This was the $535 FTOPS Main Event. Note the suits too:

Full Tilt Poker Game #3304201146: FTOPS Main Event (22695133), Table 401 - 100/200 - No Limit Hold'em - 20:31:37 ET - 2007/08/19
Seat 1: RitasBoss (3,545)
Seat 2: Smart Casher (12,17
Seat 3: OrangeBoy (20,394)
Seat 4: flopdisasta (13,485)
Seat 5: PrairieG8 (5,080)
Seat 6: BraveJayhawk (2,570)
Seat 7: DragonDrake (9,660)
Seat 8: theNorfman (2,31
Seat 9: FishhGuts (7,840)
flopdisasta posts the small blind of 100
PrairieG8 posts the big blind of 200
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OrangeBoy [Tc Ac]
BraveJayhawk folds
DragonDrake folds
theNorfman folds
FishhGuts has 15 seconds left to act
FishhGuts folds
RitasBoss has 15 seconds left to act
RitasBoss folds
Smart Casher calls 200
OrangeBoy raises to 650
flopdisasta folds
PrairieG8 folds
Smart Casher calls 450
*** FLOP *** [Ad Kc 6d]
Smart Casher has 15 seconds left to act
Smart Casher checks
OrangeBoy bets 1,528
Smart Casher calls 1,528
*** TURN *** [Ad Kc 6d] [2c]
Smart Casher has 15 seconds left to act
Smart Casher bets 2,500
OrangeBoy raises to 18,216, and is all in
Smart Casher calls 7,500, and is all in
OrangeBoy shows [Tc Ac]
Smart Casher shows [7s As]
Uncalled bet of 8,216 returned to OrangeBoy
*** RIVER *** [Ad Kc 6d 2c] [7d]
OrangeBoy shows a pair of Aces
Smart Casher shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
Smart Casher wins the pot (24,656) with two pair, Aces and Sevens

That pot was 3x the size of the average stack in the tournament at the time. It would have given me the 8th largest chip stack. I guess I can take solace in the fact that it happened with 2,500 players left instead of 25, but that might be the worst early-in-the-tournament beat I've taken in my entire life.

Meeting A Caveman

We're publishing an interview this Sunday with Leif Force, the 11th place finisher in the 2006 Main Event. Those of you who follow poker closely enough recognize Leif as the young man with an uncanny resemblance to the caveman from the Geico commercials:



If you don’t recognize him, don’t feel bad. I didn’t either when running into him last month in a Las Vegas bowling alley.

After riding the beer train to Hammeredtown during dinner with friends, we decided to keep the good times rolling (hehe) at a 24-hour bowling alley. Only a week before this I threw a 300, so my drunken confidence (especially relative to bowling) was at an epic high.

While waiting for the old lady behind the counter to fetch our shoes, I overheard this cocky, confident blonde kid claim he once bowled 22 games in one day. I immediately intruded on his conversation and called bullshit. Even though I was drunk, obnoxious, and all over the place, he stayed pretty calm and just kept smiling at me and said “you don’t think I’ve ever bowled 22 games in a day before, huh? How about I bowl 22 games right now. I’ll do it in less than 2.5 hours, using a house ball, with a score of 150 or better each game.”

Bells and whistles and a little jumping gnome screaming “PROP BET! PROP BET!” started going off in my head. The little gnome told me to reach into my wallet, pull out all the cash I had, which was around $2,000, throw it on the table and say, “I’ll bet you whatever I have right there that you can’t.” Good idea, little gnome!

After doing so, the kid turned around and reached into a bag he had with him (“please don’t be a gun, please don’t be a gun,” said the little gnome, who had stopped jumping at this point) and pulled out what looked to be about $10,000. He said, “you don’t even know who you’re messing with, man, I’m a millionaire!” In any other city, some random guy with that much money would be shocking. In Las Vegas, it seemed fairly standard. Largely unaffected, I replied “ooooooh, Daddy gave you some money, I’m so impressed!”

That comment altered his zen-like disposition and put him on the defensive, “‘Daddy’ didn’t give me anything! I became a millionaire on my own!” I could tell I pushed a button, so I cooled off a little and told him, “okay man, it’s cool if your Dad gave you some money, you don’t have to yell.” Unsatisfied that I wasn’t convinced of his self-made status, he continued, “have you ever heard of a little thing called the World Series of Poker?!?”

The gnome in my head was doing cart-wheels after hearing that. First he claims he can bowl 22 games in 2.5 hours while throwing at least 150 each game (with a house ball, mind you) and now he claims he made a million dollars from the WSOP. I was all too happy to step back and let him bury himself even deeper when my friend Dave pulled me aside and said, “uhh, you know that’s a clean-cut Leif Force, right?”

Oops.

Leif Force won $1.1 million for finishing 11th in the 2006 Main Event. I wish I could say I was drunk enough to proclaim, “well big deal, you got lucky in one tournament!,” but I have to admit, I was a little star-struck, so I apologized for the “Daddy” comment.

My friend Michael intervened as the voice of sobriety on my behalf. Of course, this was not out of charity; Michael wanted some action of his own. Sober, drunk, or otherwise, it didn’t take a genius to know that getting even-money on a prop-bet of this nature is a rare treat from the gambling gods you’re not likely to stumble upon often.

So Michael throws me a few dollars and tells me to go buy some beers. I interpret this as a clue to disappear for a few minutes so as not to antagonize the situation beyond repair. After getting back from the bar with some Heinies (that’s douchebag-lingo for “Heineken”), I learn that we’ll have a $2,000 bet that Leif cannot bowl 22 games in 3.5 hours with a score of 140 or better each game. Michael catered to him by giving him an extra hour and ten pins per game from the original terms, but I didn’t care, because I still estimated his chance for success at under 2%. We told him to bowl a practice game while we went up to the counter to pre-pay for his games.

While at the desk, Michael and I watched Leif tally up a 34 through the first 5 frames in his practice game. Of course this made us cackle like jackasses and start giving each other high-fives over the free $1,000 each of us just earned. The old lady behind the counter overheard most of the negotiations of the bet and almost seemed thankful that we spiced up her night a little bit. You’re welcome, old lady.

As we walked down the alley to where Leif was, we realized he and his friend were rummaging through his purse (or whatever the thing was). We inquired what the problem was, and Leif told us that he lost his cell phone. Of course, my knee-jerk reaction was that he realized he was on the wrong side of a sucker-bet and is now using the ol’ “lost my cell phone” routine to get out of the bet.

Amidst all of this, a previously uninterested friend of ours, Imran, informed us that he remembered seeing an abandoned cell phone earlier. Imran said he left the phone where it was figuring its owner would return to claim it. Between Imran’s story and Leif’s seemingly-genuine concern regarding the whereabouts of his phone, I dismiss my theory that he was faking its disappearance.

Come to find out, Leif is no stranger to losing his phone in Las Vegas. Perhaps he should invest in a better purse? (OOOH, OUCH!)

Like madmen, Michael and I pitch in to help him locate his phone. To us, finding that thing is like finding $2,000, so even looking behind the toilets in the men’s (and women’s) restroom is not beyond us. After a half-hour scavenger hunt, it’s apparent that we’re not going to find his phone.

Ever the jackass, I coyly inquired, “so... ready to start bowling, then?” He was understandably a bit distracted from the bet. I thought he handled it really well though. He offered to flip a coin with us. Heads he does the bet right then and there, tails he’s off the hook.

Obv tails, bad beat, rigged prly.

We shook hands and exchanged phone numbers. Overall, Leif handled the situation nicely. He’s a good guy and seemed fun to hang out with.

And Leif, regarding the bowling bet, the offer is still on, anytime, anywhere. I’d also love to hear this story from your perspective, since mine was clouded with alcohol and testosterone.

The Second Time Around

Now that I'm a little older, I'm re-reading Catcher in the Rye at the recommendation of my friend Imran who claims that you'll "get" more of it than you did as a teenager. So far he's right. I about died laughing at this part:

"...he didn't care because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron."

The book's hero, Holden Caufield, reminds me exactly of my friend Ray. First person to request it in a comment gets my copy mailed to them when I'm finished. Except for you Europeans, 'cause I'm cheap and lazy and don't want to fill out a damn customs form.

Improving The Ratio

Looking through statistics from the multi-table tournaments I've played over the past year or so, I was disturbed to see that my final table appearances to top 3 finishes ratio leaves something to be desired. Although I've made 33 final tables, only 8 of those appearances concluded with a top 3 finish, only 1 of which was actually a win (technically two since I got the lion's share in a HU chop once but lost the meaningless playoff). Obviously this is a small sample size and you could argue that maybe I just suck at final table coinflips, but I think a more likely explanation is that I'm leaking at final tables, especially once it's six-handed or less.

I'm going to try talking to better MTTers than I who are good friends (Exitonly, skeptix, etc). Hopefully I can plug some holes in my final table game and start taking down some tournaments more regularly. An MTTer's ROI stands to be vastly increased simply by cleaning up their short-handed final table game.

I Love To Play The Poker

I'm fully aware that bad beat hand histories do not a good blog make, but I couldn't help but share these. I decide to play some $5/$10 no-limit 'cause I was bored and I'm a degen like that. I was actually fairly surprised at how soft it was. I ran out of money fast:

Full Tilt Poker Game #3150956745: Table Wyteazn - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 13:40:03 ET - 2007/08/04
Seat 1: CroqueMonsieur ($664)
Seat 2: OtisRush ($2,273.90)
Seat 4: Grndhg25 ($1,080)
Seat 5: gamble4you ($1,701.20)
Seat 6: OrangeBoy ($1,000)
OtisRush posts the small blind of $5
Grndhg25 posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OrangeBoy [9c 9d]
gamble4you folds
OrangeBoy raises to $35
CroqueMonsieur has 15 seconds left to act
CroqueMonsieur raises to $130
OtisRush has 15 seconds left to act
OtisRush folds
Grndhg25 folds
OrangeBoy raises to $1,000, and is all in
CroqueMonsieur calls $534, and is all in
OrangeBoy shows [9c 9d]
CroqueMonsieur shows [7h 7c]
Uncalled bet of $336 returned to OrangeBoy
*** FLOP *** [7d 8h 2d]
*** TURN *** [7d 8h 2d] [Jh]
*** RIVER *** [7d 8h 2d Jh] [3s]
OrangeBoy shows a pair of Nines
CroqueMonsieur shows three of a kind, Sevens
CroqueMonsieur wins the pot ($1,340) with three of a kind, Sevens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $1,343 | Rake $3
Board: [7d 8h 2d Jh 3s]
Seat 1: CroqueMonsieur (button) showed [7h 7c] and won ($1,340) with three of a kind, Sevens
Seat 2: OtisRush (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: Grndhg25 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: gamble4you didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: OrangeBoy showed [9c 9d] and lost with a pair of Nines

Full Tilt Poker Game #3151061853: Table Anya (heads up) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 13:54:08 ET - 2007/08/04
Seat 1: NEXTT ($1,554)
Seat 2: OrangeBoy ($1,411.50)
OrangeBoy posts the small blind of $5
NEXTT posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to OrangeBoy [3s Ad]
OrangeBoy calls $5
NEXTT raises to $35
OrangeBoy calls $25
*** FLOP *** [7h Ac 3d]
NEXTT bets $40
OrangeBoy raises to $130
NEXTT calls $90
*** TURN *** [7h Ac 3d] [9d]
NEXTT checks
OrangeBoy bets $400
NEXTT raises to $1,389, and is all in
OrangeBoy calls $846.50, and is all in
NEXTT shows [8d Ah]
OrangeBoy shows [3s Ad]
Uncalled bet of $142.50 returned to NEXTT
*** RIVER *** [7h Ac 3d 9d] [8s]
NEXTT shows two pair, Aces and Eights
OrangeBoy shows two pair, Aces and Threes
NEXTT wins the pot ($2,822.50) with two pair, Aces and Eights
OrangeBoy is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $2,823 | Rake $0.50
Board: [7h Ac 3d 9d 8s]
Seat 1: NEXTT (big blind) showed [8d Ah] and won ($2,822.50) with two pair, Aces and Eights
Seat 2: OrangeBoy (small blind) showed [3s Ad] and lost with two pair, Aces and Threes

I had eaten that guy alive heads-up and had tilted him into shoving with Ace-Eight there. There's a lot of value in heads-up cash games IMO, but you have to be strong enough to quit playing when you know you don't have the edge. Most people can't do that, myself included.

It'll Be Fantastic!

I'm flying up to Indiana this weekend to hang out with some of the guys I play fantasy football with. Our online draft is on Saturday, so a few of us will gather in my friend Austin's apartment for the draft while others make their picks from elsewhere (we'll have managers in New Jersey, Northern Indiana, Arizona, and Houston picking along with us). Some of you probably know guys who care about fantasy football more than anything else in their lives. It's hard to justify caring more about a silly game than your family, friends, health, job, dog, and responsibilities, but somehow I manage.

With 12 teams in our league, I rated the 24 players I like to go in the first two rounds this weekend:

1 - LT (Even if I only thought he'd do 75% of what he did last year, he's the insta #1 overall pick)

2 - Steven Jackson (Downside is small, upside is huge - I think he'll still be producing big numbers in the fantasy playoffs as the Rams try to squeak into the Wild Card)

3 - Frank Gore (I predict a breakout year for Gore that resembles Shaun Alexander ala 2005)

4 - Shaun Alexander (Age and injuries a concern here, but I expect him to be a stud)

5 - Larry Johnson (Workload decreasing, weakened offensive line, and possible training camp hold-out make his downside too scary to draft before 5th pick IMO)

tie 6 - Rudi Johnson and Joseph Addai (To me, Rudi is the guaranteed 1,300 yards, 12 TDs while Addai's expectation is 1,300 yards, 12 TDs, with an upside of 1,600 yards and 20 TDs, but a downside of total sophomore busto - who you pick depends on how much you want to GAMBOL!)

8 - Willie Parker (His 1,500 yards and 16 TDs of 2006 won't be repeated - therefore I think people are overvaluing him coming into this year's draft - I hope I'm not cornered into pulling the trigger on Willie as my #1 overall pick, if I am, I'm definitely selecting a RB in round 2 as well to supplement the weaknesses Willie brings to the position)

9 - Reggie Bush (The most athletic offensive player in the NFL will build upon his fantastic rookie season)

10 - Ronnie Brown (I don't get why everyone is valuing him behind Maurice Jones-Drew, who competes for carries, Brian Westbrook, who is injury prone, and Travis Henry, who will also share carries - Brown is the main guy in a run-first scheme - I'll be giddy if I wind up getting him late in the second round considering I'd happily pick him near the end of the first round)

11 - Laurence Maroney (No one is paying attention to the main running attraction in New England - I hope to scoop this guy up in the second round)

12 - Edgerrin James (Raise your hand if you knew this guy was younger than Shaun Alexander - I sure as hell didn't - new O-line in Arizona makes Edge a fine late first-round pick IMO)

13 - Clinton Portis (Obviously an injury concern but I like him more than Westbrook - Ideally he'd be the No. 2 back on whatever team drafts him)

14 - Willis McGahee (New team, fresh start, plenty of carries - finally McGahee is ready to shine - I find it mind boggling that people are rating Cedric Benson, Thomas Jones, Cadillac Williams, and Duece McAllister ahead of Baltimore's go-to guy in a run-first scheme)

15 - Peyton Manning (His value over the 2nd-5th QBs really isn't that huge which is why, ideally, I wouldn't pick him until early 2nd round - that said, he might be too tempting to turn down with the 10th pick due to the guaranteed 30 TDs)

16 - Maurice Jones-Drew (With Taylor signed till 2010, Jones-Drew will still be sharing carries, only this year, defenses will be prepared for him)

17 - Steve Smith (Most explosive WR - Potential to be significantly better than 2nd best WR option)

18 - Duece McAllister (Saints offense will score a ton - There are enough TDs to go around)

19 - Brandon Jacobs (The main guy for the Giants now that Tiki is gone - Many are concerned that Droughens will steal playing time, but I predict Jacobs gets most of NYG's rushing TDs this year)

20 - Chad Johnson (With Chris Henry out of the picture, the Bengals will need more production from CJ and Houshmandzadeh, who I think is an absolute steal if you can get him in the 4th round)

21 - Marshawn Lynch (Could be Rookie of the Year for the Bills)

22 - Antonio Gates (Has significant advantage over the second best player at his position)

23 - Marvin Harrison (About as safe of a bet as anyone on the board)

24 - Torry Holt (Historically a stud WR and no reason to think he won't be in 07)

Guys who are highly rated by fantasy gurus that I'm staying away from entirely:

Brian Westbrook (His value is much higher in Points Per Reception leagues, which ours is not - Additionally he's injury prone and in an offense that never runs the ball)

Travis Henry (I've learned my lesson on Denver running backs - their system is too run-by-committee and pass-focused to value any one player highly - I'd only take Henry in the 4th round or later - He won't be available by then)

Thomas Jones (He was never that good in Chicago, numbers slip year to year, and Jets O-line leaves something to be desired - That said, I'd be fine with Jones as my No. 3 back if I could get him in the 5th round, but he'll be gone by then)

Jamal Lewis (He's old, he's behind a bad O-line, I see no reason to waste a pick on him unless it's a very late one)

Cedric Benson (I predict Benson flops big for the Bears)

Terrell Owens (His mental stability is too much of a liability to justify drafting him in the top 3 rounds, and he won't be available in the 4th)

Ahman Green (Coach Kubiak is a product of Denver's by-committee running mentality, Green is old, the Texans are bad - I'm not coming near this guy)

Cadillac Williams (He's on a bad team and had an absolute busto sophomore campaign - I see no reason to pick him until given reason to believe he's a player)

For my friends around Indianapolis (they are shrinking in number), we'll probably be going out Friday and Saturday; get in touch if you want to meet up.

To the other guys in the fantasy football league: get ready to be owned in the draft. I'm doing my homework.